7.00am: Sat on Tube to work. Hardly anyone else on here, because no-one in their right mind gets to work this early.
8.00am: Drag self to desk, trying to shake off mild hangover from desk beers last night. Go to kitchen and put approximately 4 espressos in one cup. Know full well that in about 15 minutes time, you’ll be so hyped up on caffeine that dialling phone numbers will be tricky.
8:10am: Send intern out for bacon sandwiches and paracetamol. Rib colleagues for lateness/previous night’s antics.
8:15am: Sort through emails and laugh at ridiculous array of excuses that candidates have given to avoid coming in for an interview. Consider how many fake unwellgrandparents/cousins/goldfish excuse emails you’ve ever got. Probably thousands.
8:30am: Prepare stats for morning meeting with CEO. Wonder whether palpitations are due to caffeine or the fact that I'm already behind target for the month!
8:45am: Call and prep candidates. Explain what Recruitment actually is to each candidate for the 50th time.
9:30am: Go through ad response. Make 23 phone calls. Leave 23 voicemails. Bang head on desk.
12:00pm: Blink and it’s lunchtime. Internally question whether it is possible to save this month. Conclude that unless I do some serious late shifts, then probably not.
2:00pm: Call client for feedback from candidate’s final interview. Candidate is a no, client says they’re ‘just not quite right’. Ask client to clarify. Wonder what on earth to tell candidate.
2:30pm: Call candidates with upcoming final interviews to see how they’re getting on with preparations. Rewrite 3 presentations so they don’t look like they were done by a 3 year old child. Become an agony aunt and listen to candidates’ boyfriend/family/landlord/travel problems.
3.00pm: Quick meeting with Team Leader to confirm I will definitely hit target this month (promise). Count down minutes until the free beer tap opens.
4pm: Send multiple CVs to clients. When angry client calls to complain, blame email bug.
5pm: Get first desk beer. Stare blankly at phone and will it to ring.
7pm: Onto third desk beer. Feel a bit tipsy. Realise you’re talking louder than everyone in the office and laughing at MD’s Dad jokes.
8pm: Post some ads. Pray to Recruitment gods for better day tomorrow. Wonder why you pay London rent prices when you spend 14 hours a day at the office.
8.30pm: Go to pub. Again.
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